Yes....it's that time again....it's time for another National Championship for Your LSU Fighting Tigers!!! It's a night game...it's in the Dome...it's gonna be loud.... we're playing some annoying team wearing red with another stupid mascot.... it's time...once again... for another pre-game rant....
THE GAME
#2 LSU (11-2) vs #1 the Ohio State (11-1)
THE HAT vs. THE WEASEL IN THE SWEATER VEST
SEC Champion vs. the Big Ten (11 teams why the 10????) Champion
Do I have to go into detail???? ....no.... you know that this is the MARBLE GAME.... BCS Trophy lies in wait.... first two time BCS Trophy winner will be the outcome of this one...
OH HOW I HATE OHIO STATE!!
This Monday's Tigerbait...wears red and gray and hails from Oh-hi-ho. They refer to themselves as "The Ohio State University" .....Whatever.
Coached by Jim "the weasel in the vest" Tressel. One BCS hardware item in the trophy case and loser by about 600 points last year to Urban Cryer in the BCS game against the Gators. How did he take the ESPN "Greatest Team of All-Time" and lose??? Easy....they couldn't handle the SEC speed.... somehow Lou Holtz thinks that this has magically been fixed. ????? The one loss this year... to Ron Friggin Zook no less......
Team - QB - Todd Boekmann...tall with a gun and suspect scrambling ability...meet Mr. Jones and Mr. Dorsey!!!
RB - Chris "Beanie" Wells.... well isn't that cute. He's the one man show. Stop him better than McFadden please. Ali Highsmith...you got this one.....
WR - Robiskie (son of the LSU great) and Hartline - STELTZ is on it! and Zenon is ready to light em up!!
Defense.... #1 we here... we'll see.....
LB - Laurenitis... All American.... Poo Poo Broussards' buddy. Hester's in to block this guy. Interesting to see a collision between him and RP....
OL and DL - Big..very Big...
Mascot - What the hell is that thing??? A Buckeye.???. a poisonous nut?? WTF??? Brutus scares me more than the U_L_L pepper...
Band - It's the script "Ohio" or is it the "O SH_T"!!! (thanks for the 50 or so emails with that one...it's still funny!!!!)
Fans - Outnumbered and out partied by the Tiger Faithful in N.O. If they're anything like the other Big 10 fans in 2001 (Illinois) they'll show up massively hungover and not a factor....and judging from StubHub as I write this....selling the majority of the last minute tickets.....
LSU!! LSU!! LSU!!!
Coaching - Heck LES is still here... He's having a great day with his Damn Strong Football Team.
Crowton has had a month to implement more spread offense...the achilles heal of Big-1o.
Nebraska's Head Coach is here to throw some well rested Dorsey Army members at the hapless Buckeyes!!!
FEAR THE HAT!!!
Team - Flynn or Perrilloux? How bout Flynn and Perrilloux?? Can't stop either one Oh-Hi-Ho!
RB - Hester, KW, Scott, Trindon (Dang he's fast..... good luck with that the Oh-Hi-Ho!), and Crazy Legs Murphy....
WR - Take your pick...Early, Lafell, how bout a few quick strikes to Byrd!
Defense - remember one thing.... You're only alive because Glenn Dorsey let's you live!!! He's rested and ready... he's got the number one draft pick in the NFL at stake and the championship to Win that he returned to LSU for.... Good luck with that tOSU!!!!
Mascot - A live Bengal/Siberian Tiger Mix... don't mess with a live cat (see CNN) that even scares Glenn Dorsey!!! Mike VI wants to start off his reign with a Crystal Football!!!
Band - Ohio cannot handle the Golden Band from Tiger Land!!! and those fabulous Golden Girls are far superior to anything a cold weather state could even dream to offer.... Advantage - LSU!!!
Fans - THAT's YOU!!! If you're there.... I expect you to blow both vocal chords and be at the ENT Specialist on Wed.... you won't feel anything Tuesday after the victory.... (ssh....we're not at that part yet.....) IF you're not there.... channel some energy...... Regardless....BRING YOUR A-GAME!!!!
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!?!?!?!
Lou Holthszsps picked OSU ...so that 's a bonus!!! It all starts at 7:00 PM... OSU does it's dumb script and dot the "i" thing...then bedlum..... the Golden Band From Tiger Land blasts out those four notes that signal.... pain is coming....and it's wearing white jerseys....and is hungry.......
Ohio hangs for a quarter....but LSU has too many weapons.... am I speaking with Logic or Emotion???? Both.... Flynn goes out in style....Hester is consistent... the Defense steps up....Chad Jones returns a punt for a TD and Crowton finds a way to insert Holliday to maximize the speed.... ....okay... the OSU QB has Post Tramautic Stress Disorder after this one.....
GEAUX TIGERS!!!!
THE PREDICTION!!
LSU 37
OH-hi-o State 20
GEAUX TIGERS!!!
GEAUX TIGERS!!!!
L
S
U!!!!!!
Now go enjoy some tastey beignets after the celebration........
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