Less than 48 hours til kickoff...

This should get you ready...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLsoTwPe7JU&NR

Urban Meyer Weiner Rant..

YUUMMMM GATOR.... Tastes like chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week's Tiger Bait... Urban Meyer Weiner,Tim Tebow,Chrissy Leak and the rest of the Florida Gators....

Before the hatred for Tubberville...there was the Dark Empire of Gainsville headed by Darth Spurrier... well he finally threw in the towel and we enjoyed the fall of the empire under Lord Zook... sadly that came to an end... in walks in Urban Myth...

I don't get it...what has this guy done??? Utah??... Well let's see he did cry like a little girl last year when the TIGERS with 5 turnovers still beat him.

ATTENTION: FLORIDA IS NOT BACK.. they were just a mythical blip on the college radar... nothing before Spurrier and not much since him.... So what if they're #5... they will LOSE Saturday... and here's why......

GATORS

Enough talk of Urban Legend and his spread offense. It's too slow against a fast defense. He might try a little wrinkle with Little Timmy Tebow.... but that one's real simple... when they put him in he runs the ball and to the left... that's it... Timmy meet Mr. Dorsey!!!!!!! The other head of the two headed QB system is none other than Chrissy Leak (watch him celebrate like a little school girl on the simplest plays...quite annoying). You remember Leak he was the only blemish in the TIGERS 2003 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP season. Well he's finally a senior and let's make it three victories in a row over him. ..and they have a built in loss excuse.. RB Deshawn Wynn has one heck of a swollen knee....

UF Defense... They are really good against the run...best in the conference. I'm not impressed.. But Al why not??? It's simple..they have the 10th best passing defense in the SEC.. IF you are an opposing team...why run?? ..when you can pass at will on these jokers??? ..and as an added bonus they run a two headed gimmick there too.... "co-defensive coordinators" ..watch that meltdown happen live saturday... who's in charge here anyway???

TIGERS (winners of 3 of the last 4 against UF...including the last two in da swamp)

Jamarcus is the real deal. The reigns are off. We have abandoned the run...bout time. Jamarcus will continue to light up the opposing defenses this week. The lesson of Auburn has been learned by Les and Jimbo ...THROW THE DAMN BALL!!! Early's Open, Bowe's Open, Davis is Deep, Hester is right there in front of you...no...throw it deep!!!

Remember what I said about no running game ...forget that...an inspired Hester, Scott and a surprising Alley B shock the Gator Nation on saturday for 150 total rushing yards to add to the impressive passing numbers by JR

DEFENSE!! DEFENSE!!! DEFENSE!!! The Chinese Bandits led by the 2nd best DL in the country (the #1 belongs to the Baltimore Ravens) will punish Tebow (don't forget to Tivo so you can enjoy over and over again) and Chrissy. The #2 scoring... ah heck with it...it's cut and past time.... (thanks LSU SID.).

Bill Franques voiceover here....

The Tigers are ranked No. 1 in the nation in total defense (193.4 yards per game) and pass efficiency defense (73.5 rating). The Tigers are No. 2 nationally in scoring defense, allowing just 7.4 points per game and they are No. 3 in pass defense, holding opponents to only 124.2 yards per contest. The Tigers are also ranked No. 5 in the nation in both interceptions and sacks. The Tigers have intercepted nine passes this year and they have also recorded 19 sacks.

Offensively, the Tigers lead the Southeastern Conference and rank No. 10 in the nation in scoring with 38.0 points per game. The Tigers have scored 190 points so far this year, which ranks as the second-highest point total by an LSU team over the first five games of a season. Only LSU’s national championship team in 2003 scored more points (201) over the first five games of the season. This year’s LSU squad is also the first team in modern day school history to reach the 40-point mark in four of its first five games. The only other LSU team to do it was the 1911 squad. LSU, behind the play of quarterback JaMarcus Russell, is ranked No. 5 in the nation in pass efficiency. The Tigers have completed 90 of 134 passes for 1,337 yards and 10 touchdowns. Individually, Russell continues to have the hot hand at quarterback as he has climbed all the way to No. 2 in the nation in pass efficiency. Russell, this week’s SEC Offensive Player of the Week, has connected on 81 of 115 passes for 1,246 yards, 10 touchdowns and just one interception. He has an efficiency rating of 188.4 Defensively, LSU safety Craig Steltz ranks first in the conference and sixth in the nation in interceptions with .80 a contest. Steltz has intercepted a pass in four straight games, a first in LSU history. Tiger defensive end Tyson Jackson leads the SEC and ranks No. 9 in the nation in sacks with 5.5 to his credit. Jackson is averaging 1.1 sacks per contest.

whew...couldn't have said it better myself....

PREDICTION....

FLORIDA IS NOT AUBURN... FLORIDA IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE.. JAMARCUS FOR HEISMAN...

#9 and moving up

LSU 31

F U Gators 16 (hahahaaa Miss St. scored more than you)

somebody get Urban another towel to cry in to.. #5 and going down....

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

we're gonna beat that urban meyer weiner.... then we'll pull for them to take care of Tubby..

Pics from the Miss St game..

photos courtesy Phil T.

LSU 48, Miss State 17, Lightning 1 hr delay

(Is the sky giving us a giant LSU#1 ??)

Is there any doubt who the best QB at LSU is??

Who gives LSU the best chance at winning???

Geaux Jamarcus... 14 straight pass completions....330 passing yards...

If he were at Ohio State/michigan or Notre Dame.. ABC would be pubbing him for the Heisman... but you can't have him ABC..he's a Tiger!!!

Oh yeah...Miss St... highest score by them that I can remember...Sylvester sure has that program turned around....

Next UP -

It's GREAT TO BEAT A FLORIDA GAYTOR!!!

IT's GAMEDAY by Jill....

Brunch on the Bayou

Drag out of bed early
Wipe the sleep for your eyes
Make good use of some Zing Zang
Watch the bulldogs demise

Nobody likes the JP game
Or whatever it's called now
We'll take it out on the cowbells
Pelini's defense knows just how

There's nothing like a dog pounding
Under the late September sun
The Tigers will score muchos puntos
Moo State? Not even one

What happened to the doggies?
They used to compete
Now they're worse than ole miss
And that's quite a feat

Another big day for Jamarcus
And a young kid named Scott
Oh and there's also that guy named Doucet
He's so gone when that ball is caught

So what's on your menu
Bloody Marys, Bourbon or Beer?
Whichever your poison
Don't be lazy - get out there and CHEER!

GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!

This Week's TigerBait - Mississippi State

The State of State ....BAD

Losers 0 - 15 to South Carolina
Losers 0 - 34 to Allbarn
Losers 29 - 32 to Tulame
Winners in OT over UAB 16-10

BAD.....
Very BAD...

I find it quite difficult to Rant on this team. I mean if it takes my Rant to fire you up to Crush another happless opponent... well... you're on your own this week...

Early game or not... this will be no contest...

Misshishipi Shtate..

What do we know about them??? The media line "Sylvester Croom sure has turned that program around...he runs a clean program" . Well that's special... they ensure CLEAN uniforms for the opposing team, the easily CLEAN out their home crowd, they CLEAN out the bank accounts of Div-1A teams as a ..dare I say it... a PATHETIC SEC RENT-A-WIN.

I hear they have a good defense.. but when you're star player is your punter... Starkvegas!! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

TIGERS

#1 Defense and a knack for scoring 42 points more than the opponent at home.

PREDICTION

11:30 kickoffs suck!!! But this will not spare the Starvillians any pain.

#10 Tigers 56

#1 _ _ (instert triple digit number here) Cowpokes .. NADA

Attention State Fans... LEAVE YOUR DAMN COWBELLS HOME!!

GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

49-7!

The more things change...the more they stay the same.

Thanks Tulane for being a constant in this world!!!



Also of note Tiger fans... USC beat Arizona 20-3 last night... wow...that's impressive.

It's Gameday...by Jill

A recipe for disaster

Take One Semi-Inept Offense
Add a dash of a conservative coach
Mix in some spoiled officiating
And you'll serve up a result worthy of reproach

From Oregon to Alabama
The refs made bad hometown calls
Who passed out the bags of money?
Seriously, is this boxing or college football?

Let's move on to the Greenies
Did they really beat State?
Is it a victory? Well, yes
But not one that carries much weight

How 'bout that Tiger D?
Those guys deserve some props
Whoever plays QB for the greenies
Is in for some seriously painful pops

Now let's find ourselves a running game
Let's see some of Williams and Scott
Somebody light a fire under those others
Maybe they'll run like they don't want to be caught

I say we hang about 70 on Tulane
We need a good reason to cheer
A good ole fashioned Tiger Stadium drubbing
Is exactly what the wave needs to fear



GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!

Tigerbait of the Week - Green Wave

Home Sweet Home...

ahhh..Tiger Stadium... no better way to get back on the winning track than a healthy dose of kicking the everliving doohicky out of the Tulane Green Wave....

TUCK FULANE

First off - Hats off to the the Green Wave for surviving the Katrina Season and playing 11 games on the road and losing at 9 of those different stadiums.... that was last year... now prepare to Die!!! (how embarrassing for two of those team..losing at home to Tulane...jeees)

Unranked Tulane 2006 - Lost to Houston 7-45 and beat Mississippimistake 32-29 in a nailbiter.. that is if anyone in Starkville had teeth to bite nails and Tulane's 10 traveling fans were just too in shock to start nibblin'....

What makes this team extra special for the buttwhupping is that they have a former LSU third stringer leading their offense. Remember Lester Ricard? Well he couldn't take the heat of competition and decided to transfer to someplace else..why Tulane of course...

HEY LESTER...YOU ARE TIGERBAIT!!!

I know what you're thinking... but "Al, don't you remember last year when that Clausen kid came in with Tennuhsee and beat us" .. That was different. That was an SEC team with SEC speed and an SEC defense and SEC ..well you get the picture. Lester is the 85th ranked passer in Division 1 football and has no defense, no supporting cast and well Chris Scelfone (33-49) is still the coach. NO contest. TULANE will not be playing a Conference USA or a pathetic Mississippi school this weekend.

www.tulanegreenwave.com

#10 TIGERS

No player on this team has lived in a world in which LSU has lost to Tulane. The last time the Green Wave won was 1982. LSU leads the 'rivalry' 65-22-7. That does not a rivalry make. (Mike Archer, Curley Hallman and Gerry 'wit a G' Dinardo didn't lose to Tulane.) The LSU players perfect world will stay perfect this saturday.

What I want to see.. lots of passing, freshman running backs (Scott and Williams), lots of cracking of heads, vicous hits, no punts, less Hester at Tailback, deep balls, imagination on offense, no prisoners on defense and no damn officials at the game period...Tiger Stadium will be Thunderdome this saturday...two teams enter...one leaves. .....

Prediction

Les and Jimbo have their backs to wall and open up the playbook and show what real SEC speed looks like. The #1 Defense in the nation continues to shine. The Tigerband remains solid, the Golden Girls do their thing and the season gets back on track. No stripped fools can save the Tigerbait this week. Hours of tailgating aggression toward refs will be focused properly come 7:00 P.M. in Death Valley.

LSU 62
Tulame 0

Hey 62-0 for the fourth time... IT'S TRADITION BABY!!

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

Bye the way Change of Rain Saturday - NEVER!!!

This day in Tiger History....

3 Years Ago Today...

there...that feels better..







(pic courtesy of JMD)

Auburn = Cheaters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-46FByOK4k

Watch Irons Maul Brandon LaFell

No call of course... cause the refs get there check from the SEC office.

then there's the Doucet no call...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2P-w9QlthE&mode=related&search=




The Rule on pass interference:
“9H. Pass interference rules do not apply after the pass has been touched anywhere inbounds by an inbounds player or has touched an official. If an opponent is fouled, the penalty is for the foul and not pass interference.”
“9I. After the pass has been touched, any player may execute a legal block during the remaining flight of the pass.”
Sports Illustrated says
“The call went Auburn's way.
With LSU facing fourth-and-8 from Auburn's 31 and 2:43 left, JaMarcus Russell fired the ball to Early Doucet near the goal line. A diving Brock deflected the pass, but Zach Gilbert was called for pass interference that would have kept the drive alive.
The officials overturned the call, although replays showed the contact came before the ball was tipped by Brock.”

then there's the HESTER 'no catch' fumble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff3p3EeVCOM

don't believe the fix was in check out this from Tigerdroppings...

First Drive: Pass completion by Hester would have given LSU 1st down on au 23. Play overturned by official after play was called a completion by the official right in from of the play. The guys calling the action couldn't believe it. They said no way that play could be overturned.

Second Drive: Long pass completion to the TE to the auburn 30. Late flag comes in and holding is called on the LSU tackle. The tackle has a soft cast on his hand and could not have held. The replay shows the tackle has his head across the body of the auburn DL and it is a good block. After the penalty the ball was moved all the way back to the LSU 38.

Third Drive: JR throws a deep ball into the auburn endzone to LaFell. Davis Irons is beaten badly on a double move. Irons turns his back to the ball and makes up ground. He grabs Lafell with both hands and kicks his legs with one of his legs. It was a mugging. LaFell should file charges with the auburn DA. Again the guys calling the game couldn't believe it. They said auburn got away with a big one there.

Fourth Drive: This is the one getting all the attention becasue it was at the end of the game. JR threw to Doucet at the auburn 3 yard line and Doucet was grabed coming out of his cut. He was then hit again as he went up for the ball, pushing him away from the ball. GEAUX TO HELL SEC!!!

THE 48 HOUR RULE IS NOW IN EFFECT...

OVER AND DONE

2-1 TIGERS

BRING ON THE GREEN WAVE...

GREEN WAVE RANT 2006 on it's way WED.

POST MORTEM..

Let's get this out our systems together now...

REPEAT AFTER ME...

REF!! YOU SUCK!!! REF!!! SUCK!!!
REF!!! YOU SUCK!!!

okay... 7-3..totally missed that one... then again it's hard for our 11 players to win when they are playing 18 people (11 + 5 refts + two announcers)....

So damn close... so many bad calls....

The Tigers are however not free from blame...

Jimbo... pick a freshman running back and go with him...Hester's slow, Vincent's too indecisive and Broussard needs to lay off the cheese fries...

Defense...ROCKED!!!!
Special Teams... kick longer punts please...

Jamarcus... some bonehead decisions in the end... but the best we have was out there.... could Flynn have thrown for 260 against Will Muschamp's defense... NO!!

Pick up the pieces...plenty of season left... and you gotta fear for the GREEN WAVE...

NEXT WEEK's TIGER BAIT...

TIGER's ARE ANGRY>>> and Hell's coming with them....

-lsual

TIGER 'TIL DEATH!! GEAUX TIGERS!!!

A BARN BURNER RANT!!

okay...10:30 pm...I sit to write the rant... after 7 years of this...what can I say about Auburn's confused arse mascot thing...or my love of Tubberville...Okay...Tubberville...the hate is viscerelle...there is no incarnation of evil in College Football concentrated in one location than the plains..(with the exception of Notre Dame or USC).....

ALLBARN RANT 2006...

Die TUBBY DIE 2006 Edition...

It's time for the media to stop kissing the arse of the wrong Tigers.... After the Two LSU TIVO games and Auburns beating of Happless Miss St.... they think things are equal but Auburn is better because of their flipping Running back and it's at Auburn... blah blah....

Here we are on the tenth anniversary of the night the Auburn barn burnt down and probably the last time the real TIGERS won on the plains... what's that I smell...another Auburn barn burning...no it's a trailer...and it smell like Auburn Corndog...

Corndog???

Let me enlighten, explain and sort this crap out once and for all. Auburn fans have been calling LSU fans the "corndogs" for a few years... why??? Some idiot with a computer in an Auburn trailer park got a hold of an email from an Oklahoma fan in which they call the Nebraska fans the "corndogs" and all Nebraska fans "smelled like corndogs" and replace the word Nebraska with "LSU". So they thought it was funny...and they think all LSU fans smell like corndogs???

WHAT THE FU_ _?????? Corndogs??? What the hell are corndogs??? Can't find them in Death Valley??? Not considered a tailgate food either. So sad..pathetic and just not funny....it's like thinking that Jim Carrey's the CABLE GUY is a funny movie...just plain dumb.....

To AUBURN: Go to Hell (see Ole Miss). That crap is old and not even funny.... but if you want to carry it on... Let's call this game the BATTLE for the GOLDEN FRIGGIN CORNDOG!!!

Auburn/plainsmen/warchickens/eagles

Tubby the evil 2nd rate Spurrier is still there. QB is Cox and he aint' got the balls to handle the Tiger D. Some Running back named Irons is there and the Auby fans are all giddy about some Fullback who had 44 yards rushing against Miss Shtate... wow..impressive. One wide Reciever and Will Muschamp as Defensive Coordinator..

1. Will won't be playing
2. will was a great cheerleader for the Real Tigers many a year ago
3. He' won't have little Nicky whispering play calls in his ear this time (Hello...do you think Will was actually LSU's Defensive coordinator or Nick SABAN???)

YOU HAVE THE SAME KICKER!!!! WOOHOO!!! LINE HIM UP!!! HE'll PROBABLY SHANK THE KICKOFF!!!! GO #37... WE LOVE YOU!!! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!!!

REAL TIGERS

How many weapons do we have...Bowe, Davis, HESTER FOR HEISMAN, Broussard, Vincent, Doucet, Russell, Flynn... ..wow my fingers are tired....

FEAR LES MILES!!!! BO Pelini Knows Football!!!! FISHER HATES AUBURN!!!!

GLENN DORSEY HATES OPPOSING QBS!!!! ZENON...CAN HE OUTSCORE THE OPPONENT AGAIN???????

GOAL POSTS HATE THAT AUBURN KICKER!!!!

#1 Scoring Defense in the NATION


DEFENSE + OFFENSE = MAJOR BUTT KICKING!!!


PREDICTION.

LSU
LSU
LSU
LSU
L
S
U

ONLY TEAM IN THE NATION TO NOT ALLOW A TD THIS YEAR >>>TIGERS!!!!


LSU 35

Eagles 7

DIE TUBBY DIE!!!!


----- The Associated Press Top 25 college football poll lists Auburn at No. 3 in the country, LSU at No. 6. That means the two sets of Tigers will meet with higher combined rankings Saturday than in any previous game in the history of the emerging rivalry.
The only top-10 (AP) matchup between LSU and Auburn was in 1972.
Eighth-ranked LSU defeated ninth-ranked Auburn 35-7
WOW!!! HUGE!!!
I want to party like it's 1972 again!!!

KICK THIS.....

Just like Bobby Knight once said..."I was nervous...until I saw Dale Brown across the bench.."...


so too Tigers Fans... we have the confidence..... for what do we see across the field saturday...

O for 5 in 2005!!! Returning for a repeat performance.....

Home of the Rant for sale....

WE interupt Auburn week to announce that the home of the Rant is for sale....

no not the home of LSUal...the desk that the rant comes to you from....

Mrs. LSUal has ordered the updgrade so this 'famous' piece of furniture can be yours for a mere

$350.00 (or best offer)....

-LSUal
lsual@cox.net

or
lsualsrants@cox.net

for further info.

AUBURN WEEK....

hmmmm...the trend....

LSU 40 Miami 3
LSU 45 UL-L 3
LSU 45 Arizone 3

hhmmm....

BRING ON AUBURN!!!!

Hey can we bring the EYE to the Plains!?!?!?

45-3???

What's this TIVO?? Different week ..same result... exact same result.

Hey Stoops... jumping on the EYE of the TIGER.... BRILLIANT!!!

Food for thought...if you remove LSU's offense totally from the last two games...LSU still outscores it's opponents 14-6....
-lsual

BRING ON THE WAR CHICKENS!!!!!!!

IT's GAMEDAY by Jill

"Huh? I mean, they can't eat you, can they?" - Mike Stoops


A special thanks to the fine folks of u la la
The ragin peppers were an easy rent-a-win
The kinks are out, the preseason is over
It's time for the real games to begin

For Miles and Stoops it's a different place
But an all too familiar foe
This time, though, the tables have turned
The Tigers will deal the final blow

Les is the man with the winning hand
Those wildcats are no prize
They almost lost to Brigham Young
In Death Valley they'll meet their demise

No touchdowns allowed in the last 10 quarters
8 straight wins against the Pac-10
This week the hot streak will stay on course
We'll send them home. Losers. Again.

Let's show em how things go on Saturday Nights
Let's help Coach give mikey his due
There's a smirker in auburn waiting in the wings
Next week, he'll get his too


GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!

ARIDZONE RANT 2006

This Week's Tiger Bait - Arizona Wildcats 1-0 outta da Pacified-10 league.

This one will be short...why...cause we're gonna completely dominate these jokers. They are in the same category as the two Mississippi Schools....

Zona...whatcha need to know...they beat pathetic BYU (no winning season in how long??) by a last second field goal 16-13 last week. This so impressed Las Vegas that the line on the LSU blowout went up by 6 points as the kick was in the air. Last time we played them was in 2003 and we crushed them 59-13...

I've heard it... "Al,they're much better now and they have Mike Stoops...he's really going to turn them around...he's a defensive genious...blah blah"....
Stoops...STOOPS......I FEAR NOT ANYONE NAMED STOOPS....we defeated his brother....and he's not his brother... that's like fearing anyone named Manning... a complete waste of emotion.....

Mike Stoops is 7-16 as the head coach of Arizona.

Two BACK TO BACK 3-8 seasons and then the impressive win on SATURDAY AGAINST THE BYUlosers.

They supposedly have a decent defense and some impressive 6'-3" QB...funny they didn't show up last week and had to rely on some kicker to bail them out... THREE Field goals and a touchdown against BYU??? JUST TRY THAT IN TIGER STADIUM???? OUR GOAL POSTS DON't LIKE FOOTBALLS!!!!!!


TIGERS!!! ... Domination from start to finish..Jamarcus to LaFell, Jarmarcus to Early, Alley up the middle...Justin on the bench...field a punt....crush a QB... Jimbo...Pelini... FEARLES MILES!!! MIKE THE TIGER STAND UP AN ROAR!!!

...and Mr. Tuitiamao (QB) meet MR. DORSEY and Mr. PITTMAN... you them and the turf will become very close...

PREDICTION.... VICTORY FOR L-S-U!!!!!

TIGERS ON A MISSION 42
worst team in the Pac-10 13

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

..and if you're scared about this one....the letdown game...looking ahead to Auburn.......blah blah... sell your ticket to someone who has no fear!!!!! THERE'S NO ROOM FOR BROOK TROUT, DISASTER SYNDROME 'tiger' FANS!!!!

SI Power Rankings.... the world has found another idiot

Once again…Sports Illustrated proving to be idiots…

from the POWER RANKINGS.....

ND at #2 ‘nothing to be ashamed of in their close win' ... puke!!! ND almost lost to Ga Tech ...a non-good football team....

And look at this gem...

Remind me again why there was ever a quarterback "controversy" at LSU? Nothing against Matt Flynn, but JaMarcus Russell went 13 of 17 for 253 yards, three touchdowns and no picks against UL-Lafayette. Freshman receiver Brandon LaFell announced his presence with a 58-yard TD catch.
Next game: Saturday vs. Vanderbilt

AT LEAST LOOK AT A SCHEDULE!!! WE’re PLAYING VANDY???? Don't they even do research????? VANDY???

Hey braintrust... how bout ARIZONA????

At least they got Jamarcus' stats right.... ESPN is still reporting an INT for Jamarcus....